After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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