I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
