I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
