you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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