there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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