i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
