doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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