You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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