Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Be still, my beating vagina.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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