Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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