I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
