no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
