In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
The air taste purple.
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