The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
