After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
