Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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