K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
