I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
