we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Boobs are out for the taking
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
