if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
