my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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