i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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