shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
nutella sex= disaster
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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