Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
