I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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