We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
