my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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