i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
