Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
