They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
