As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
