i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
