Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
