no, he came in my armpit
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
