i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he fucked my hip out of place.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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