HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
