i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
