Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dick very happy bro
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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