i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
