I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
