His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize