he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Two words: nipple clamps
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