Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
