Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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