every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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