Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
