You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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