the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
