hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
