i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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