I think I am morally bankrupt
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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