You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Where did you get a picture of my penis
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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