Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
