So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
