I'm drive I can fine osifer
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
