just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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