Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
