We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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